I cannot stand for someone to truly believe they deserve something for nothing. You're not special, bitch. You are no more special that me, Jane Doe, Joe Blow, or the homeless woman that mutters to herself and growls if anyone gets near her. Anything that doesn't already come on or with the food you ordered is considered extra. If you order something EXTRA, then you are going to have to pay EXTRA for it. If it's just one or two cups of ranch that I can get myself, I won't charge for it. Unless, of course, my manager happens to be breathing down my neck. In that case, I will have to charge you. When it comes down to having to hear you bitch about it for the next 30 minutes until you leave, or having to hear my manager bitching at me about it for the rest of my shift, I'm going to choose pissing you off. I'm sorry, but that's the way it is. If you run me to death because your table of 10 needs 5 extra cups of dressing with each salad, and two cups of ranch per person to dip their pizza in, I'm going to charge you for every fucking drop. My hassle=your cost. If you want something that I have to get a cook retrieve for me, I will always have to charge you for that. The cooks are not going to do anything more than their bare-minimum job requirements, so their not looking to do me, or you, any favors. They're not going to hand over a bread crumb without a ticket. In order for them to have a ticket with what they need to send out, I have to put that shit into the computer, thus charging you for the item you had wanted. You would think all of this would be common sense, but, sadly, it is not. People still become unbelievably irate when they see that $0.30 charge on their bill for the cup of extra ranch that they ordered themselves.
Once, about two years ago, a well-known high school teacher and coach in my town came in with his family to eat one night. Him and his family would always order one large pizza to share for their meal and one large salad to share for their app. Pretty simple. The only problem was that they wanted two dressings a piece for each person, but only one salad. Our large salad is not abnormally big and only comes with two dressings, so they were also getting 6 extra dressings along with the two that come with the salad. It says in every portion of our menu how much extra dressings, pizza toppings, sauces, cheese, etc. costs. It's not like I was trying to be sneaky and run his bill up unbeknownst to him. Unless you're illiterate (and he just may be considering all of the stupid kids that I see coming out of that high school), ignorance is no excuse. Anyway, I was trying to be nice and only charged him for three instead of the six extra dressings they had eaten. Everything was great, until the bill came. He saw the $0.90 charge for extra dressing, and he made a HUGE scene. The way he acted, you would have thought there was a gratuity for $600.00 on there. He screamed and yelled, stomped his feet, and got red in the face. Basically, he looked like a bald, fat two year old throwing a temper tantrum. And this is some one in charge of molding our youth? That's it, I'm sending my kids to private school. There's no way I want this immature piece of mildew getting his hands on my kids. He wound up wanting the manager. Of course, Dip Shit wound up taking it off the bill, but told him, "I took it off this time, but next time you'll know so you'll have to pay for it." Yeah, right.
This kind of scene happens more likely than you would think, unless you work in a restaurant. Just today, a woman called wanting to place an order for her and her co-workers to come in and eat. She ordered for her co-workers first, then herself. She wanted a small order of our 3-Layer Breadsticks, and wanted ranch with them. Pizza sauce normally comes with them. If they want to substitute the pizza sauce for something else, there's no extra charge. However, if they want the pizza sauce and another sauce, they're going to have to dig deep in their pockets and pay that darned $0.30. I know, expensive, right. How can anyone ever afford that? When the lady told me she wanted ranch, of course I asked her if she just wanted the ranch or if she wanted pizza sauce and ranch. Three ranches total. So I charged her $0.90. That should not have been a big deal, but it was. They came in and ate. When they were ready, I split off their checks and took them their bills. The lady never said anything about it until she came up to pay. My manager was standing beside me as a cashed them out. She asked me why I charged her for the ranch. "Because, that's what you asked for ma'am. You said that you wanted pizza sauce and ranch when I took your order over the phone, so I charged you for the ranch. The small breadsticks only come with one sauce.", I replied. She scrunched her nose, squinted her eyes, and pursed her lips. Her face looked like she'd smelled shit. She then prepared herself to win the award for biggest over-reaction ever and said, "NO, I did NOT! You are a liar. I told you I only wanted ranch. Had I known you were going to charge me, I wouldn't have gotten both." I'm thinking whoa, whoa, lady, calm down. you are getting way to amped up over $0.90. You contradicted yourself too, by the way. Which is it? Am I a liar, or did you not know that it would cost you extra for extra ranch? Before I could say anything, manager stepped in and took off one of the ranches, because either way, she still got two extra. She seemed happy saving $0.30, whatever. I'm just thankful that she got the fuck out of there. I couldn't imagine being such a raving fucking lunatic that $0.30 got my panties all up in a bunch. Chill the fuck out. It's just a condiment.
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