I haven't posted about where I'm from because of the stigma that comes along with it, but I do now and always have resided in the heart of Appalachia. It is a beautiful place to live, with lofty mountains, bountiful wild life, and lush greenery. I am proud of where I come from. With that being said, whenever traveling, I find myself somewhat reluctant to answer when people ask where I am from. People have this stereotype in their mind, and I would like to see that stereotype put to rest. Don't get me wrong, there are some that fit that stereotypical mold. They are the minority. I, at least partly, blame the news. Whenever there is a big news story breaking in our area, I'll be damned if the reporter doesn't always find the dumbest, loudest redneck they can find to interview. People see this idiot spewing nonsense on their television and assume we all must be like that. In my 8 years of serving, I have had a barrage of ludicrous questions hurled at me. If anyone out there is ever fortunate enough to visit this beautiful part of the country known as Appalachia, I have a list of questions to NOT ask your server.
These are all questions I have been asked by out-of-towners. I have also been kind enough to answer them.
Q: Wow! You're wearing shoes?
A: Well, by golly, mister, I saved up my monies and got myself some of these fancy new foot cover things. Of course I wear god damned shoes. I'm not a fucking animal. Would you want to walk around on this nasty ass floor barefoot? Yeah, me either.
Q: You actually have teeth? (This was seriously a question some one asked)
A: Yeah, we actually do have toothbrushes and dentists. I know, shocking, right?
Q: Wasn't the movie "Wrong Turn" filmed somewhere around here?
A: No, even though they have the movie "set" in West Virginia, it was actually filmed in Canada.
Q: Don't you all marry your cousins?
A: No, we do not. Not only is that completely vile, but it is also illegal in this state. If you are interested in marrying your cousin, you can always go to California, New York, New Jersey, Vermont, or Rhode Island, just to name a few, where it is completely legal.
Q: I didn't know you all could read.
A: Yes, I can read and write. Fascinating, isn't it? I am also college educated, as are most of the other people that live here.
(And last, but not least, my most favorite and most frequently asked question):
Q: What's it like living in western Virginia
A: I don't live in western Virginia. I live in West Virginia. West Virginia is it's own state, and not, not, not, NOT the western part of Virginia.
I can not believe that some adult men and women who are supposedly so much smarter and more educated than us "dumb hillbillies" do not know that West Virginia is a state. The people that live here are kind, giving, intelligent people. We are not the toothless, shoeless, ignorant, rednecks who bathe in rivers and drink dirty creek water. Which is some people might have you believe.
I'm only talking about the ridiculous things people really do believe about us. I'm not talking about jokes. I do love a well placed hillbilly or redneck joke, but not that stupid "you might be a reneck if..." shit. If you're going to make a joke about a stereotype, make sure it is well placed, thought out, and intelligent. Otherwise, you just sound like an ignorant jerk off.
I don't mean to sound like I'm standing on my soap box, but I had a table of 8 today that treated me like garbage. It wasn't even the typical "I'm better than you because you're just a lowly server who bring me food." kind of table. I'm mostly used to that kind of table, even though it still kind of pisses me off. They acted like I was unable to understand them or anything, really. They were here on their vacation, but lived out of state. Every one of them made sure to talk real slow for me so that I could understand what they wanted to eat and drink. I can't blame them. I never would have understood that they wanted a pizza, 5 salads, and a pitcher of soda with 8 cups of ice if they hadn't dumbed it down for me. They were beyond rude the entire meal. After they had gotten all their food, I went back to make sure everything was alright and check for refills. Before I could even say anything, they were yelling "waitress!" and either shaking or pointing at their 3/4 full drinks (that's right, I can even do simple math). I probably took them their check a little too soon, but I was tired of being treated worse than a chicken at a tyson farm (allegedly). They paid their $60.00 bill with a credit card. After they left, I went to get the credit card slip. I was completely surprised to see a $5.00 tip. 8%, really? Even us ignorant hillbillies know that a 15-20% tip is customary.
No comments:
Post a Comment