POS System=Piece of Shit System

                           We've been having a butt load of problems with the POS system at Pizza Place.  It is ridiculous.  Let me count the ways.

-It loses orders.  One of us will put an order in and it will just disappear into thin air, never to be seen again.

-When some one is putting in a big ticket, the computer can't handle it.  The further along they get into the order, the slower it moves.

-When someone pushes the "Finish" button to send an order through. Another screen pops up where the bill can either be paid at that moment or they can press the "pay later" button.  If it's a table, they're obviously not already paying for food they haven't gotten yet.  The "pay later" button is really tiny.  If we touch the "pay later" button too soon or if you don't touch it exactly right in the dead center, it won't send the order through.

-It adds a penny to some people's check, but not others.  Don't fucking ask me why.  I can't understand that shit at all.

-The caller I.D. doesn't work most of the time.  This is a problem because if someone places a prank order from a blocked number, we wouldn't know.  (For Example: Hello, this is Seymour Butts.  I would like 20 anchovy and pineapple pizzas delivered to the state police station.)  The example is pretty obvious.  How about if it was Steven Anderson wanting 20 pepperoni pizzas then how would we know it was a prank?  The store would just be out the cost of those 20 pizzas.

-We cannot add the gratuity or a discount to a check before it is split.  We have to split it first, then add the gratuity or discount or both to each separate ticket.  If I have a table of 20 old people and they all need separate checks, then I'm going to have to split it 20 ways.  After that I have to go back into each ticket and add gratuity 20 times.  I also have to go back into every check again to add 20 senior discounts.  It is a time suck.

-Online ordering never works.  Pizza Place has been trying to get online ordering up and running for the last 3 1/2 years I've been working there.  They finally got it working and advertised that shit all over the place before they got all the bugs worked out.  Every time someone goes to their website and places their order online, it adds $24,000 to their check.  They will come to pick up their $13.00 pizza, and the POS will show they owe $24,013.00.  Unless that pizza comes with a brand new vehicle or is topped with about 3 carats of diamonds, then that is an outrageous price.

                           
                               Just today I had a family of three who were apparently on their way to a funeral.  They ordered their drinks but weren't ready to order.  The man was a Pepsi drinker.  The thought of drinking Coke was more than he could bear, so he ordered a lemonade.  He sent his lemonade back three times for being "too strong"(what a pussy), all the while refusing to order their food.  The third lemonade I took out was actually half lemonade and half water.  "Whoa!  This is still really strong.  I guess I'll just have a Coke instead. *dramatic sigh*"  I took him the Coke, and asked if they were ready to order.  They weren't because the wife needed to go use the bathroom.  I went and asked again when I saw her back at the table. They still weren't ready because the teenage son had decided he needed to use the bathroom.  Whatever.  When I saw him get back to the table, I went over to try again.  Hallelujah and praise the Lord, they were finally fucking ready, just shy of my 100th birthday.  The had officially been sitting there for 30 minutes when I walked straight from their table to the computer and put in their order.  10 minutes later, the man walked up to me and asked when their food was going to be ready because they had to get to a funeral.  Even though their ticket had only been in for a few minutes, I went to the kitchen to check.  His ticket wasn't hanging in the kitchen. "Ohhh fuck, not this guy.  Please don't fuck up on these people!!  They're annoying in the best of situations.  They are going to go god damned ballistic if I give them an actual reason to complain.", I thought as I walked over to the POS.  I pulled up the screen that should have had their order on it.  It was nowhere. It had been devoured by the computer, just like many orders before it.  I yelled at the cooks to make the order on the fly.  I then took a deep breath, put on my best fake smile, and headed back out to give him the bad news.  I told him that I couldn't find his ticket anywhere, but that I could have it made with a rush on it, and if I did that, then his food would be out in about 7 minutes.  He blew his top.  He told me again that he had to be at a funeral and to "just forget about it".  Had he let me get it made for him on the fly, his ticket time would only have been about 17 minutes.  He would have waited that long anyway, even if the POS hadn't eaten his order.  I ran back to the kitchen to tell the cooks to put a stop on that order.  When I came back out of the kitchen, Mr. Difficult was standing in front of me along with his whole Difficult family.  They said they needed to pay for their drinks.  I told them not to worry about it, since they didn't get to eat.  I apologized to them.  That's when Mrs. Difficult decided it was a good idea to scream in my face that they had been there for 45 minutes and it was my fault that they wouldn't get to eat until 6:00pm that evening.  Whatever.  They had been there for 45 minutes, but they waited 30 of that before they even ordered anything.  Plus, if they had just waited the 7 minutes for me to get it made, they would have already gotten their food before Mrs. Difficult was screaming in my face.  I just smiled and apologized.  Normally I would get mad, but these people were so transparent.  They were upset over losing someone.  They needed a punching bag to take out their anger and sadness.  Who better than a server who's not aloud to push back?   Even if the POS hadn't fucked up, they would have found something to scream at me about.

What Comes Around Goes Around

                       Sorry for the late post.  My children were taken to this magical land called "Grandma's".  "Grandma's" only accepts children about once every three months.  So, I used the couple of hours of kids-free-time that I had to take an extraordinarily long, hot shower and a nap.  Now that my little darlings are back, I'm going to do something extra productive, like blog.

                     I'm going to start off by saying I hate kids.  I know this topic has been done, done again, and over done on every other serving/restaurant blog out there.   Most of the blogs that I have read about the dislike of kids has been written by the childless.  The opposition always says, "You only don't like kids because you don't have any!"  Well, I'm going to step up and say, "I am a mother of two, and I still hate you and your kids."  Just because there is a miniature person tagging along wherever you go, you are not entitled, nor are you special.  About 370,000 are born every fucking day.  That means about 369,999 other screamin' demons were popped out of the womb on the same day you grunted out your little bundle of hell.


                     You may think I'm heartless, but I couldn't give a rat's splooge less.  Even if we are in a "kids friendly" restaurant, I don't want to see your crotch spawn.  I have two that I am responsible for making sure they don't act like yard apes.  I don't need your little fucker coming up running around my table and talking to my kids and myself while you stare off into your cell phone or tablet without a care in the world.  If I am eating in a restaurant and your hell spawn is running circle around my table, I will stick my foot out and trip the little bastard.  It will be a complete "accident" I promise, but he really shouldn't be running around in the first place.  I don't need your obnoxious child asking me a thousand questions about every topic known to man.  Like I said, I have two kids, so I already have to answer about 2,000 questions at any given time.  I will smile pleasantly, bend down, and whisper in its ear(as to not let my kids hear me say any "bad words"), to shut the fuck up and go sit back down before I sew their goddamned mouth shut.  You see, when we are eating in the same restaurant and you're letting your dumb ass kid run around while you pay no mind to anything it's doing, I am going to feel a hint of responsibility for child.  Trust and believe in me when I say that you really do not want me to be responsible in any sense of the word for a child in which I have no maternal instincts or love.  It's only going to turn out very, very bad, I promise.

                      If I am serving you and your ugly heathens, I still hate you both.  I have to smile politely while you let your child talk to me like shit and run me to death.  It's not "sooo cute", as you so eloquently put it, it is god damned rude.  Every time it screams at me, I want to pick something up off your table and "accidentally" elbow it in the fucking teeth as I turn around.  I won't though because then I would have to elbow you in the mouth as well for letting it act like that and if I did it twice, it might look suspicious.  You tell me to hurry because your brat is starving and can't wait 5 extra fucking minutes for its goddamned kids meal.  Even though, after you leave, every fucking last crumb is either spread across the table or in the floor.  There's also ketchup spilled everywhere.  Often the little darling has even drawn us a little picture on the wall-with the crayons you gave it to "keep it busy"-to remember it by.  Seeing how you let the bastard run wild without even batting an eye, I would bet money it acts like that no matter where it is.  You are a lazy cunt who can't be bothered to teach her own offspring right from wrong.  Unless you are fortunate enough to have a maid, which I doubt since you're eating at Pizza Place, I would hate to see how god damned disgusting your home is.  

                   Your ugly as sin miscreant is far from "adorable", nor is it "funny".  You are teaching your child to be a rude, thoughtless, uncaring, selfish little pig.  You will one day regret your decisions as a parent.  You may think it looks "cute" or "funny" now, but that small child will one day be an adult with the same attributes.  When your God awful child does become an adult, you will be a shriveled up old hag.  The child whom you raised to have no empathy will be choosing your long term care.  You can bet your bottom dollar that selfish, greedy little piggy will stick you in the cheapest, nastiest nursing home they can find and leave your ass there to rot. How do you like them apples?  I bet they're bitter.