"Super Server" conquers evil villain "Thieving Lard Ass"

                Today was a shit storm on so many levels.  We had a heavy thunderstorm move through our area knocking out power and making people crazy.  The powerless poured into our restaurant like they would never be able to eat again. We even had a wait at one point.  That's right, at the shitty pizza place in a small town, we had a wait.  It is absolutely unheard of, and why anyone would EVER want to wait for the food at Pizza Place, is beyond my comprehension.  Once again it was up to only me and one other waitress to feed the masses.  I think my shitty store manager does this on purpose so that when lunch rush hits, he can take a few of the tables and make some tips.  Not today!!!  Not on my watch!!!! And not ever again!!!  I am fed up!!   I was determined when I entered the door to work this morning that I was not going to let him take a penny out of my pocket.  The lunch rush hit with the force of a tsunami, and after a few (or six) tables a piece, the other waitress said she was too far in the weeds and could not take another one until she got caught up.  I'm sure when lard ass manager heard this, he wet his panties with delight.  So, Dumbass, Greedy, Fuckwad Manager waddles out to the dining room and starts getting drink orders.  I let him do so while I made and ran a few salads and apps to a couple tables.  When he comes back with drink orders in hand, I was waiting for him.  I said with a smile, "I'm caught up now, so i'll take those.", and snatched them out of his hands.  I only had to snatch maybe a couple more drink orders out of his hand before he got the hint.  The only problem was, once he realized I wasn't going to let him steal any of my tips, he refused to help us at all.  The other server and I were getting deeper and deeper in the weeds, but I was determined to make my point.  I was absolutely, under no circumstances, going to let him defeat me.  I didn't care if I had to take every table by myself.  I was going to do it, and do it well.  By having even one complaint, he would have won.  And guess what?  I did it!!  Without having to call on him for ANYTHING!!  Only one of my tables had any complaints, and it was all in their heads.  They were the type of people that were looking for something to complain about as soon as they walked in the door.  I'm not exaggerating, as soon as they walked in I heard the obese ape man grumble, "The Pizza Place in Soandso is sooooo much better than this one."  Whatever, man, if it's soooo much better, then drag your ass to that one and leave me the fuck alone.  There was 6 of them, 5 whores and one ape man.  Every table inn the restaurant was full at that point.  Any normal functioning adult human brain would think,"Hmmm, this place is packed, we might have to wait an extra five minutes on our food since all these other people were smart enough to get here before us.", but no these dipshits expected their entree within 10 minutes of sitting down even though they had all ordered salads AND apps.  After I got their orders, I put them in the computer then dropped their apps.  I then took out their drinks, then their salads and apps along with two other tables that I had picked up at the same time as I had them.  After dropping off the third tables salads and apps, I was on my way to the expo window to pick up the whores and ape man's food when I feel someone grab onto my clothing.  So, I stop and turn around and it's none other than Ape Man himself.  He has this ugly "I smell shit" look on his face and I ask him if there's something I can get for him.  He yells like the Ape Man he is, "I'm not impatient or anything, but is our food going to get here anytime soon?!"  His ticket had only been in for 10 minutes at that point, believe me, I checked.  So I tell him very nicely that I had been on my way to get his food when he stopped me and that he would already have it if he hadn't been so "not impatient".  So I slowly make my way there, since he's sooooo "not impatient".  I make sure to stop at another table close to them that had heard him screaming and apologize for the over grown man child making a scene and ask them if I could get them anything.  They say they're fine and that THEY are sorry that I have to deal with people like that.  I smile and tell them that if they need anything, just let me know.  THEN, I went and got the food for the "not impatient" table.  I deliver it and then ask them if there's anything else I can get for them, they said no, so I continue on.  About five minutes later I hear one of the whores at the "not impatient" table screeching at me, "WAITRESSSSSSSS!!!!", so I reluctantly walk over.  That whore and the whore sitting next to her had ordered a sandwich to split.  Our sandwiches come on oval plates and I had brought them each a round plate with their sandwich that they were splitting.  They had taken their sandwich off the oval plate and they each had a half sandwich sitting in front of them on a round plate when I walked over.  I notice each of their halves of sandwich have about 3-4 bites taken out of them.  Whore #1 tells me there is a hair on her half sandwich.  I look and it is laying perfectly on top of the top piece of bread.  I was thinking, "Are you fucking serious?  You mean to tell me you didn't notice it when you got the sandwich, took it off the original plate, or when you took 3-4 bites of it and it never even fell off the top of the sandwich either?"  Whatever!  I was soo done with them long before this.  I took both plates with both halves of sandwich off the table and told them I'd have it taken off their bill.  I then brought them boxes and the check sans their stupid sandwich.  I was done.  I didn't want to see or hear from them anymore.  When they came up front to pay, they asked for Lard Ass the store manager so I went and got him.  They were mad that their bill wasn't comped over one hair on one half of one sandwich, even though there was 6 salads, 6 apps, and 5 other entrees that were perfectly fine.  Whore #1 seriously told my shit head manager, "Finding that hair on my sandwich ruined the whole dining experience for everyone.", in this really dramatic voice.  He basically told her tough shit and that he had taken the sandwich off, but they were going to have to pay for everything else.  Smartest thing I've ever heard him say in the 3 years I've worked there.  They paid, but weren't happy about it.  My thought, good, maybe they won't come back.  Those people were crazy, and that's not my fault.  The nice table that told me they were sorry I had to deal with people like that left me a $20 tip and it was only a two-top, and the other waitress working with me called me Super Server when recounting the day to second shift.  So seeing as I only had one complaint from people that were clearly out of their minds, I made close to $100 on  a lunch shift including a $20 bill left by a two top, and I took so many tables by myself that it warranted me the title of "Super Server" with little to mostly no help from my thieving, lard ass, douche bag store manager, I deeply believe that I won the battle and live to serve another day!!